A Simple Job
Taking care of yourself while you are learning how to feel.
The process of exiting survival and becoming more human and adult needs to take its own time. It can help if you decide now, in this moment, to engage the process through to its completion.
By already establishing a commitment you proactively disempower the clever reasons, excuses and justifications that your Box and Gremlin throw up as obstacles to your success. The previously established commitment gives your Box and Gremlin’s arguments no place to get a grip.
The process is that of lowering your Numbness Bar, learning the to inner navigation your Four Feelings, speaking from your Heart, healing your Emotional reactivity, detecting your jumps between your Parent, Child, Gremlin and Demon egostate, staying in the Adult Egostate, and transforming Gremlin. These skills and processes are interwoven with each other. They lean on each other for stability and resilience in growing up.
Engage with the process. Radically rely on the process itself. Trust the process. And keep working at it.
During this time your job is simple.
Your job is to take care of yourself in these simple ways:
Stop trying to be in relationship with the opposite sex (or same sex if you are homosexual or using a mixed-gender identity.). Find simple ways to nourrish intimacy, connection, simple food for your five bodies in interacting with women (if you are a woman) and with men (if you are men).
Eat simple healthy food in modest amounts, mostly vegetarian.
Strictly avoid alcohol, cigarettes, drugs, sweets, coffee, and sodas.
Exercise daily, moving around until you have to breathe hard.
Sleep more than has been usual for you.
Learn some form of silent sitting practice and sit at least thirty-five minutes a day: same time, same place. No breathwork or mantra. Be still, keep your back straight, and don’t sleep. That’s it.
Participate in a regular weekly martial arts training program if you can. Classic aikido in the Ueshiba Morihei tradition works well for this.
Take up a simple handcraft to give your body something useful to do when your mind is driving you crazy: hand sewing, wood carving, pottery, stained glass, macramé, beading, or any form of Technopenuriaphobia healing.
Make only small positive promises to people, and be hypervigilant about keeping each and every one of your promises.
Do not engage in revenge, paybacks, or Low Drama, even in your own mind. If an urge for Low Drama arises, take it to a Possibility Coach and do an Emotional Healing Process (EHP) to heal and grow up.
Buy almost nothing so you avoid debts.
Pay your bills on time or early.
Work a simple manual labor job — such as cleaner, waiter, shop cashier, gardener, carpenter, designer, etc.— that does not require your clever defense mechanisms to activate as part of your profession —such as headhunter, sales manager, lawyer, advertising, etc. to cover your overheads on time.
Other practices that can support you taking care of yourself are:
Eat Bardo Special when you sense an energetic dark cloud drifting your way. The recipe of Bardo Special is at:
Avoid Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, etc. addictive doom scrolling.
Instead, watch movies from the Possibility Films list, and
Read books from the Possibility Books list.
Participate in a regular Study Group (for example, the ‘How To Live In Archiarchy’ - Cavitation Study Group), HeartGym, Possibility Team, Women’s Project Empowerment Call to feed your emerging Being.
Additional embodiement hobbies that you might have been missing in your life:
Singing out loud (unless your Box identity is that of singer),
Barefoot walking,
Dancing for no reason,
Hugging trees.
During this time you will not know who you are. You will not recognize yourself. Even your close friends might question your lifestyle. Life itself may not even make much sense. That is simply how it is in this time.
“This time” can take between nine to twelve months.